It can be tough to find a good translator. I know, because I am the voice for many translated texts – and I happen to find mistakes in many of them.

A couple of months ago, a major client asked me to translate a DVD training program for the German market. It was a major project with a tight deadline, and after the translation, I was to bring it alive with my voice.

I did the math: it was impossible to translate and voice the whole project in addition to my other, regular assignment, unless I wanted to have very little sleep for one week. So, I outsourced 50 percent of the project and looked for a reliable, knowledgeable translator. I would proofread the result to ensure it was 100-percent correct.

I chose someone who also works for German media. After all, someone from that industry would know all about the importance of deadlines and accuracy, right? I gave her three days for 5,000 words. Considering that a translator generally manages to translate an average of 3,000 words per day, this was a doable feat.

One day before the deadline, the translator sent me an e-mail, saying she needed more time to complete the project. Maybe it was due to the hot weather, she said, but somehow she was unable to finish it on time.

I was stunned. The only scenario that would keep me from meeting a deadline would be if I were lying in a hospital with my legs in a cast, in a straight-jacket, my hands tied up, and a bedpan under my butt.

But, regardless, I gave her the additional day she requested. However, the evening of the deadline date became nighttime. I shot her several e-mails and received no replies.

Long story short, I started working on the rest of the translation myself that night. I worked until morning and finished half of the material. The next day, I managed to reach her.

For some reason, the e-mail she sent with the translation got lost on the “information highway” and never arrived. Now, my deadline was approaching. I still had to record the whole content. So, we made a final deal: I was to receive the final part of the text by that evening .

This time, I received the material. I was just glad to get at least part of it. Then, I went to do the proofreading. Some of it was nicely translated, but there were unacceptable mistakes in there as well. When “hamstring muscles” are translated into “Achilles tendons,” you might run into some problems when you actually want to do that exercise.

I finished the project within the deadline. But don’t ask me how much stress that entailed.

Since then, I’ve decided to rely on myself when it comes to projects like these.
If I have time to translate your project, I will do it.

If not, I hope you find a conscientious, meticulous, knowledgeable, and reliable translator who is a wizard with words in his native language. If you have found him, treat him well. Give him treats or a foot rub. People like that are quite rare.

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